B"H

From a live class on our Live Kabbalah Light Warrior Cohort ❤️

As we enter Nisan and approach Pesach, I want to connect our Sefer Yetzirah learning to the energy of this month.

Sefer Yetzirah teaches that the letter of Nisan is the letter Hei, and that Hei reigns over speech. That is already a major key for understanding Pesach, because Pesach is not only about redemption in the physical sense. It is also about redemption through expression. In Hebrew, Pesach can be heard as peh-sach, the mouth that speaks. The month itself is calling us to pay attention to speech, expression, and what is moving through us.  

But speech here does not only mean what comes out of our mouths. It also means our inner speech. The voice within. The running commentary. The inner critic. The inner taskmaster. The inner story that is constantly shaping how we experience ourselves and the world. In that sense, the redemption of Pesach is also the redemption of our inner communicator.  

The letter Hei has something very subtle about it. It is almost like an exhale. It is connected to hevel, breath or vapor. Speech begins there. It begins in breath. And that means speech is not only technical. It carries the state of our inner world. What is in my heart, what is in my mind, what I am holding inwardly, all of that eventually comes out through speech.

That is why sanctifying speech is such a holy endeavor.

Then we compare Hei to another letter that looks very similar: Chet. Hei has an opening. Chet is closed off. And that difference is everything. Chet reflects constriction, ego, and a certain kind of spiritual closure. Hei reflects openness, return, awareness, and the ability to rise again. Hei is also the letter of teshuvah. It means that even if I have fallen into constriction, I can return. I can open again.  

This is also the secret of matzah and chametz. The difference in the words is Hei and Chet. Chametz represents the ego swelling, the rising that happens when the dough is left alone. Matzah represents simplicity, humility, and connection. If dough is left untouched, it rises. But if it is being worked, it does not become chametz. Spiritually, that means as long as I stay in the work, in awareness, in connection, in effort, I do not become stale and inflated inside.  

And that is one of the great teachings of Pesach: freedom is not perfection. Freedom is awareness. Freedom is the ability to notice what is happening inside without being fully taken over by it. When I can witness my thoughts, I begin to realize I am not my thoughts. When I can observe the constriction, I am already beginning to move beyond it. That is real liberation.  

The Seder night is meant to take us there. Not only through ideas, but through experience. We drink freedom. We eat freedom. We sing freedom. We retell the story until it becomes our story. The Seder is built as a process of ascent, almost like going up the steps of the Temple. It is not just a meal. It is a movement of consciousness.  

And the message is very personal. Regardless of who is at the table, regardless of what is imperfect, regardless of whether the moment feels polished or not, I can still leave my own Egypt. I can still show up truthfully. I can still pray simply. I can still sing in my own way. I can still step into freedom.